Please stop talking about how the Olympics are delayed.

I’m sick of complaints about the Olympic’s tape delay.

I’ve criticized how NBC weighed down the opening ceremony with commentators who proudly displayed their disgusting ignorance and insensitive cuts of touching segments in favor of pointless interviews. There’s also the forced narratives, the excessive commercialization, the objectification of female athletes…all real complaints. But a tape delay? Why shouldn’t NBC leave major events to primetime, where they’ll take in the most ad revenue? How is this something controversial and not a common sense move? This debate will score people easy “new media” points on Twitter, but will never go anywhere.

NBC hates the Olympics, and hates you for watching them.

Or at least it seems that way, speaking as someone who watched both the American and British broadcasts of the opening ceremonies. The ceremonies themselves were lovely, and the British announcers largely stayed out of the way. The Americans? Not only did they talk over action, they did not seem to know the difference between “informative” and “time-wasting”. Introducing the Arctic Monkeys is informative; speaking over their rendition of “Come Together” to note they’re from Sheffield is just a waste. And noting “this is the soundtrack to our lives!” is especially wasteful when your praise is covering up the music.

The Americans also had a need to overexplain every detail, and this outright ruined several segments. The “modern” segment ended with internet inventor Tim Berners-Lee, a twist the British concealed. The Americans? They opened by saying he would appear, and said they didn’t know who he was either. Of course, it’s a journalist’s job to know who someone they’re reporting on is. Does NBC figure it’s charming to be ignorant?  They also broke into that same segment multiple times to explain the love story as if it were something complex, or hard to follow for any reason other than them talking over it constantly.

Fans of ignorance and jingoism need look no further than the embarrassment that is the American commentary on the Parade of Nations. First after Greece was Afghanistan – a nation discussed exclusively in terms of how many American troops were there. If a nation could be reduced to its link to America, it was. Witness the speech justifying China as our Olympic rival – the new Soviet Union – even though Costas says we don’t compete strongly in many of the same categories with the Chinese. What a rivalry!

Throughout, Matt Lauer and Bob Costas were a font of insight. “If there were a gold medal for countries whose name make me smile, it would go to Djibouti!” Yes, let’s reduce countries to lame puns; what promotes national unity more? Finland, meanwhile, was reduced to its progressive parking ticket policy. My favorite piece of Parade of Nations commentary: “When you’re President for life, your term ends when you die.” And now the country of No Shit is entering the arena, lead by flag bearer Sherlock.

NBC cut one whole segment – the tribute to terrorism victims. Yes, who wants moving remembrances of the lost when you can have Ryan Seacrest interview the notoriously media-shy Michael Phelps? I wondered how NBC would handle the tribute to the National Health Service and children’s literature, which sounded silly but turned out to be the best part of the opening ceremonies. Naturally, the NHS was explained in terms of American controversies over socialized healthcare; well they (and many other developed nations) have free health care, but it’s inexplicably controversial here, so let’s move on. Look at that huge Voldemort! Really, what else would you expect from NBC?