As I post this, the World Cup is just wrapping up and wow, what a wonderful event if you have absolutely no expectations. The United States’ coach said they couldn’t win and he was correct. But every little victory was celebrated.
We beat Ghana, the West African nation of 25 million that knocked the United States out of two consecutive World Cups! Woo!
We nearly beat Portugal! Yeah!
We lost to Germany but escaped the group of death anyway! YEAH!
Our goalkeeper is considerably better than the rest of our team! FUCK YEAH!
But if you go into the event with expectations, you’ll likely be disappointed. I can’t imagine what Brazil fans might feel – the host country, favorites to win it all, and they’re knocked out 7-1. They were dominated.
This was written before the third-place match but’ll go up after, so who knows? Brazil may pull out something there. But still.
In the following soccer games, I am Brazil and the computer is Germany.
Adidas Power Soccer
Developer | Publisher | Release Date | Best-Seller in | Playstation Review Number |
---|---|---|---|---|
Psygnosis | Pysgnosis | 6/96 (Europe) 8/31/96 (North America) |
Europe (Platinum) | #47 |
This may be the first game I’ve ever played to include a commercial break.
Yes, every half time there’s an ad for Adidas shoes.
Adidas’ sponsorship of Adidas Power Soccer doesn’t end with the name on the cover or ads in the stadium. Every other goal is a PREDATOR GOAL; the German company’s shoe flashes up on-screen with the celebrations.
Adidas Power Soccer is the only one of today’s games to try to feature knock-off leagues instead of a knock-off international cup. It features German and French teams, as well as British teams – including Sheffield…Sunday and “Manchester”.
A fast game, Adidas Power Soccer’s arcade mode adds sparking tackles, fiery shots and cuckoo birds over injured players. And since I’m bad at this, being down 3-0 at halftime was the norm. Once my goalkeeper was left defenseless after making several saves – unassisted by one of my players, who was just standing in the goal itself. However, I did actually manage to score goals.
Thankfully, Adidas Power Soccer doesn’t really try for realism. It has the kind of simple, colorful look that worked well on the Playstation in a way pure realism just couldn’t.
Realism is demanded in sports games, but they can’t be too realistic. I was watching a video of Football Manager 2014 and the player complained about a dumb move by one player, calling it a glitch. It may be. But soccer players, even good ones, often do stupid things. They score own goals, they give up the ball to the other team, they regularly bite people. But that’s not the kind of realism people want.
I think I might have killed someone, but I wasn’t even given a yellow card. You can set the referee rate to “blind”, but they seem pretty blind even on default.
Originally I was going to go the NBA Action route and simulate a whole season. However, several games in I was heading for relegation, so I just gave up.
But how are the goal celebrations?: The world GOAL flashes up pretty dramatically, but that’s it.
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VR Soccer 96
VR Soccer ‘96 is a trying existential nightmare with a soccer game attached.
When starting the cup competition one page of results after another popped up. Advancing through them, witnessing the failures of those who came before, until your number is up.
I couldn’t triumph as the US. I couldn’t as Ghana. The cup was eventually won by Portugal, with runner-up Germany.
Other features include: unnervingly stiff players!
But how are the goal celebrations?: We see the team pumping fists while a big GOAL is displayed on a huge TV.
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Sega Worldwide Soccer ’97
Developer | Publisher | Release Date | Saturn Review Number |
---|---|---|---|
Sega | Sega | 10/31/96 (NA) 11/29/96 (Japan) |
#44 |
The best of the games, one that reminds me of Decathlete: a nice-looking arcade (or sim?) sport experience. Also simulates a competition between national teams, allowing you to set up a whole multi-team tournament (VR Soccer just allows you to pick what teams are competing). I remember multiple things about this game, such as: Graphics. Controls. Menus. Goals?
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Thirty-two bits on a screen,
Polygons still jutting,
Thirty minutes of in-game time,
Pretty much stopped me dreaming
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