32 Bits is a series where I play and review the most popular games of the past – the games that sold well in their day, not what we look back on fondly now. Why were they popular, what did their success mean, and do they hold up today? Some are loved, others loathed, and many more forgotten.
Sega Saturn reviews consider the most acclaimed games for the system, cult hits, popular games and a smattering of others I choose as I please.
Information on what games will be reviewed can be found here; my reviews of 1995’s games are archived on this page, while links to reviews from the current season – and a list of those to come – can be found here.
Saturn Review #41:
Virtua Fighter Kids
Developer |
Publisher |
Release Date |
Originally For |
Sega AM2 |
Sega |
7/26/96 (Japan)
8/29/96 (North America)
10/3/1996 (Europe) |
Arcades |
1995, Sega offices, Tokyo.
“Any ideas for building on Virtua Fighter 2’s success?”
“Sure, but first, why are we speaking in English?”
“Because we’re practicing for our Fargo LARP later. Ideas?”
“Oh yeah. How about we just release a dozen minor variations on VF2, until we reach Hyper Super Virtua Fighter 2: The New Warriors?”
“How about we make the game easier and turn all the characters into kids, except they look the same, only smaller and with big heads?”
“BRILLIANT!”
“Who was even talking just then? This scenario is very vague and confusing.”
That’s how it went down. Probably.
Wikipedia informs me Virtua Fighter Kids was a promotional item for “Java Tea” and also a test of face animation for Virtua Fighter 3. The former is confirmed by the invaluable Sega Retro wiki; the latter fact, well, this article also has a “THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT CITE ANY REFERENCES OR SOURCES” banner, so take it as you will.
Virtua Fighter 2, but super deformed. And a bit easier, as you can program your own combos. That’s it.
Nothing is changed about the characters otherwise, so when Kage loses his mask you see scars – on a cartoonishly large head.
Last time I covered a rereleased game for the Saturn it was Virtua Fighter Remix and Daytona USA Championship Edition. Those games were apologies for the original subpar ports that accompanied the system’s surprise US launch; the former was given out for free. At least Virtua Fighter Kids was just an attempt at cashing in on the game’s popularity – and the presumably lucrative contract from “Java Tea” – and not a way of making up for past failures, since Sega was past that phase.
VIRTUA FIGHTER, but with kids. It’s as good as Virtua Fighter 2 since it is Virtua Fighter 2, unless there’s something I didn’t notice, but it’s also full of big heads and the like. So.
Saturn Review #42:
3D Lemmings
Image Credit: Moby Games.
Developer |
Publisher |
Release Date |
Originally for |
Also On |
Clockwork Games |
Psygnosis |
7/6/96 (Europe)
8/23/96 (Japan) |
PC |
Playstation |
1958. The year of Disney’s nature documentary White Wilderness. An Oscar winner for best documentary, it would find enduring fame for something far less laudable.
Up in Alberta, filmmakers tasked with filming a segment on small rodents called lemmings quickly found that lemmings are boring. But sometimes, during their migrations, they fall off cliffs…
David Attenborough they weren’t: that segment’s director flew lemmings into a foreign environment and launched them off cliffs to mockup the mythical mass suicide behavior these unassuming mammals are always associated with.
1991. Disney’s craven act of fraud and animal cruelty inspired a pretty good video game (there’s a sentence I never expected to write). DMA’s original Lemmings tasked players with saving little purple-and-green critters from themselves, turning individual lemmings into special ones that could guide their brethren to the exit and not into a gauntlet of deadly threats.
The 3D debut of Lemmings adds a new type of Lemming, the Turner, who turns Lemmings 90 degrees – into the back or front. It’s basically the same Lemmings as before but with awkward camera positioning (like two-thirds of all 32 bit games). Good luck.
Taking a 2D game and moving it into 3D was a tricky business. Konami’s Metal Gear Solid improved on its predecessors so massively that few can remember, much less like the NES Metal Gear; but their troubled attempts at making a quality 3D Castlevania continue to this day. Sega’s 3D Sonic games are inconsistent in terms of quality. Lemmings, by contrast, is just…Lemmings, but with tedious camera problems that over-complicate everything!
This review began with a horrifying historical anecdote and now must end by saying 3D Lemmings didn’t try to reinvent the wheel with its franchise, without working around one of the biggest problems of its generation. 3D Lemmings: occasionally frustrating, never transcendent of its flaws.
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Tomorrow: Die Hard Trilogy & Mortal Kombat Trilogy
Next Saturday: Soccer games for the Saturn and Playstation.
But here’s a preview of NBA Action!
Sega’s NBA Action, developed by Gray Matter, isn’t a…great sports game. And it feels heretical to play old sports games. They exist in the now. Also I never play them on my own so I have no real reference point. Originally I considered just banning them but realized that, even if they give little to discuss in terms of gameplay, they do have a historical context. For instance, how cancelling Madden NFL 96 caused Sony’s GameDay series to temporarily take the lead – back when EA’s Madden had competition.
In NBA Action I elected to play as the Chicago Bulls. All the players from ’95-96 are there: Dennis Rodman, the Croatian guy…and of course, the greatest player they ever saw:
ROSTER GUARD. The greatest. He puts up a prayer, the prayer is answered. You’ll believe a man can fly. What I’m saying is, the game’s announcer is absurdly melodramatic.
Who’s Roster Guard? He could be standing in for a famous player who licensed his image independently and thus couldn’t be included, but don’t be ridiculous. When he appears as the game’s top player he exists in perpetual shadow. What a wonderful move by the Bulls to add a Smoke Monster to their roster, one who oddly is in the same place as that unnamed player who once left to do baseball.
I had never played a full season mode in a sports game before, so I decided to go through the whole season in NBA Action. Then I learned that meant 82 games. Plus best of 7 playoffs. So see NBA Action’s review either with the soccer games next Saturday or (more likely) with my reviews of football and hockey games in…quite some time from now. Gotta quarantine the sports.
CURRENT RATING IN THE 2013-2014 1995-1996 CHICAGO BULLS SEASON: 14-4. Lost to the Charlotte Hornets, Cleveland Cavaliers, Orlando Magic and San Antonio Spurs. I don’t know anything about basketball so I’m not sure if I should be surprised by those losses.
I also began playing Super Mario 64 in advance of a review in a while.
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